Hi there, do you think you might have a hunch you married a prophetic person? Did you know this when you were dating? It’s so important to know and understand the spiritual gifts your mate has and operates, this will save you from a lot of misunderstands, heartbreak and quarrels. I’ve heard it said, “Where there is no understanding, abuse is inevitable.” How will you know what they need, or understand what those gifts require of them? Here’s an example of one man who soon found out he married a prophetic woman:
“I always saw “Godly marriages.” It was nothing new. I saw strong men that were loved, respected, and supported by their wives. And the husbands adored and protected their wives and families. These were the examples that I saw and wanted to pattern my marriage after.
“From what I could tell, the husbands understood their wives and the wives spoke the same language as their husbands. I had no idea what that process looked like, but it’s safe to say that each marriage had its own specific journey. So, on January 2, 2009, I began my journey with my wife and there were some things for me to learn . . .
“Little did I know I was marrying a woman that operated strongly in the prophetic realm. To be quite honest, she was growing in her awareness of that as well. There were times that she would hear from the Lord and she would admonish me to change an action or bring to my attention she was aware of a situation and I thought she was being controlling or a know it all.
“My misinterpretation was a big point of contention in our marriage. It wasn’t until a couple of years into the marriage that I began to seek an understanding of my wife’s gift.
“What I realized is that many marriage forums aim at being equally yoked and like-minded; however, rarely have I heard of any valiant efforts to understand each other’s gifts and strengths spiritually as well as naturally. So in an effort to pay it forward, here’s what I learned from being married to a prophetic person:
The gift of prophecy/office of the prophet carries a heavy burden.
There are times when the prophetic individual experiences correction for others and the prophet doesn’t want to be perceived as judgmental; they battle with saying what they see because they don’t want to offend.
Prophetic individuals are super-sensitive to the supernatural realm.
It is important to understand as it relates to environments and relationship building, that a prophetic individual’s ability to exist in certain environments may seem limited. It’s because of the things that they are discerning in the spirit realm that may be off.
Prophetic individuals pray ALOT!
I mention this because it seemed kind of odd to me that my wife would start randomly praying while driving in the car or while in a movie theater. Don’t get me wrong, she’s not a weirdo that walks around praying obtusely in public, but I’ve noticed that with her and others, their prayer life is quite robust!
A prophetic individual’s tone and presence is often very strong.
When they speak, it’s with the full weight and glory of the Lord. (Let that sink in for a minute.) Because they have been in the presence of God so much during prayer, they carry His countenance on them tremendously.
Prophetic individuals are very watchful and perceptive, often picking up on things that are uncommon and overlooked.
My wife will see the cause of something before the outcome is even revealed.
“I highlight just a few elements of prophetic people to help someone that is married to a person with these gifts. The burden of that gift is heavy and the spouse must understand that reality and do everything possible to undergird them in love, truth, prayer, and intimacy. When I started to understand these things, it put my wife at ease and lifted tension from our marriage.
“Do everything possible to understand your spouse’s gifts. Accept them without judgment or opinion and help your spouse to develop them. The gifts that they have are for your family and God’s kingdom! – Kalan Law
Don’t you love that! Tensions lifted when understanding was gained. God designed us with different functions and different calls. Allow me to help you detect further whether you’re married to a prophet or prophetic person. I gathered a few characteristics out of John Eckhart’s book “Prophets Arise.” It’s one of the best books I’ve come across depicting and describing the characteristics of a prophet. Here are a few he mentions:
“- Prophets are unique. No matter how hard they try, they’re different.
– They’re the first ones to sense something is missing, something is wrong, we’re off track.
– They’re the first ones to see when pride, ego, and vanity, replace humility.
– Prophets see the gorilla in the room…and wonder why no one else sees it? Then the first thing the devil tells them is,” You’re crazy!!” And the first thing folks tell them is, “You’re crazy!! Ain’t nobody else seeing that! You just need to chill. Take a chill pill and relax.” So then you start wondering, ok, maybe I AM crazy… The moment you try to get rid of this thing, it just keeps gnawing at cha! That’s a good thing!”
If you’re marrying a prophet, you’re marrying a watchman! Most of the time they are on high alert, even if they keep it to themselves. Be prepared to live on the straight and narrow, “under the radar” so to speak. If you plan on getting away with things, watch out, they will and can detect it and will soon be confronting you at the doorsteps of your heart. All this is done in love and protection of course and will make you a better person and believer for it. So, try not to overreact but see it as a safety device built into them, to protect and treasure the relationship you have together.
Yes, sometimes they can come across harsh in their delivery, which is why the Lord gives extra attention and training to the prophets, to help round out their rough edges in these areas with grace. You see, prophets live from a black and white screen and can detect the color gray from a mile away! When they see gray, their alarms go off, notifying them of an oncoming threat or alteration. They’re watchmen, remember. But they soon learn through wisdom that not everything is a threat, and to temper and balance out the fight or flight mentality in them. God is working with them to make their approach more palatable to the receiver. Don’t worry, we’re not talking about watering things down here. Think of it like wine. The more wine ages and matures, the more potent and effective it becomes. It becomes less bitter tasting and its texture smooths out. Again, it’s all in your approach, which is huge for a marriage. Prophetic people must be willing to adjust their approach without fearing they will lose their potency.
Prophets hate to candy coat things! They want to emphasize the truth and that’s why they come across so strong. But, to the receiver, and you as the spouse, it’s easy to get defensive. You can feel like you must swing to the other side of the pendulum and compensate in your response for their “lack of love”. In turn, however, this can make them feel like you don’t believe they are loving. It’s an easy trap of misunderstanding for you to assume that they are bitter and write off what they are saying as “just them.” But here’s the thing, what they are sharing with you, IS coming from a loving place, most of the time. Their perspective is protection, so there are not so many feelings in that moment. Prophets, in general, are very sensitive people, they must be, but when it comes to a threat or concern, they dial in and go after the root! They’re on a mission, like a bloodhound trailing a scent, alerting the crew with a trumpeting voice! You may have thought they’ve lost their mind, but they are zeroing in, dear Watson, like a detective on the hunt, like a pointer focused on the bullseye, alerting you to take the shot!
Here’s a simple example, say for instance you are both driving in a car. Let’s say this car represents ministry or a family household. Prophets are often quick to notice when suddenly the flashing engine light comes on, on the dash! You may be driving and caught up in a conversation with someone in the back seat in that moment and write off their reaction as fault finding or over exaggerating. Prophets can feel the intensity of a situation more than the average person. You may continue to ignore them and soon be interrupted in your conversation by them! Again, they will draw your attention to the flashing light on the dashboard, stating that if you keep going along like this something tragic is going to happen! They then challenge you to commit to do something about it, like soon and hold you to it. Watchmen, remember! They are pointing out a probable issue, trying to protect you and everyone in the car.
Now, if you have more of a pastoral bent, your focus would be towards people and their feelings and how the conversation got interrupted so abruptly. You would have had a hard time understanding your spouse’s approach and misread their urgency. Your attention is so focused on the needs and feelings of the people, that you missed seeing the flashing light on the dashboard. As you read this I’m sure you can relate and notice the frustrations on both sides. Is either of them wrong? No. But one without the other will cause a fatal collision. That’s why we all need each other, understanding how we were designed and where we fit in. You are assets to one another if you can honor each other’s point of view and come together on the issues. Do your best to stay away from the “I’m right and you’re wrong” game. You can both be 100% right but 100% wrong in your approach, delivery, and single-mindedness.
Prophets come in all kinds varieties, but more times than not, you can spot them according to their similar traits. God is refining us all, to work together, to prefer one another and ultimately reflect His nature and love. We want people to taste and see that He is good and that includes our mates. So lean in and receive God’s direction and promptings from your loving spouses and come together as a team.
Just as Kalan, advised in the article above, do all you can to get understanding and gain knowledge, so that the two of you won’t have to perish in your misunderstanding. You both love each other, right?! Now it’s time to broaden your perspective and receive the full benefits that each one brings.
I know I just touched on a few things here regarding being married to a prophetic person. I would love to hear your feedback, stories, and observations. I will consider writing more about this as well. I hope this encouraged you and brought more clarity into your relationship.
Big Blessings! -Amy